Savin' Me
by Brunette Chic
Summary: Dean loves Cas. Cas loves Dean. Doesn't sound like a problem, except one's an angel, the other a human. Is it possible that a heavenly angel and a broken hunter can be together? Dean/Cas pairing eventually
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: A Forbidden Love**

"**How, Dean?", Sam asked, watching his brother steadily.**

**Dean stilled. Could Sam possibly know? No, it just wasn't possible that he could know. " How?... what, Sam?", Dean asked through a mouth full of toothpaste.**

**Sam stared at his older brother and almost had to stifle a laugh because of the sudden stillness in Dean. It was almost as if his older brother had done something wrong. Then Sam started to wonder why Dean had become so still and cautious. Was there something Dean wasn't telling him?**

" **Nah. Never mind", Sam replied.**

" **No, Sammy. Ask away. Get whatever it is off your mind", Dean said, resigned to what may come from this situation he had gotten himself into. Damn feelings. Could Sam possibly see?**

" **Okay. So…why?", Sam asked.**

**Dean felt very confused now. He wanted to know why? Why what? Oh gosh, he does know, and Dean thought he had covered his feelings well. If Sam could see it so plainly, was it possible that Castiel could also see? Dean felt himself go into a panic.**

" **You want to know why?", Dean asked, still in a panic. Then he finished quietly, " I'm not sure you really want to know."**

**Sam did a double take. " I don't?", Sam asked, confused.**

" **No, believe me, you don't". Dean answered.**

" **Why not?", Sam asked.**

" **Wh- what? Are you serious?", Dean shouted.**

" **Yes. Why wouldn't I want to know? I mean it's just a simple inquiry into your belief system and how it works", Sam replied.**

" **Yeah well you know what? My private life is none of your damn…wait, what? My belief system?", Dean asked. Sam just nodded.**

" **What do you mean?", Dean asked.**

" **What I meant to ask was, how is it that you can believe in angels when we had a case before that might have involved angels and you couldn't believe then?", Sam asked.**

" **Cas has been around for quite a few months and you're just asking me now?", Dean asked, completely ignoring Sam's question about his whole belief in angels.**

" **Well, it just occurred to me that you pretty much readily believed that Cas was really an angel. So, why is it that before you couldn't seem to find it in yourself to even once believe, that maybe instead of a dead priest, there really might have been an angel there?", Sam asked.**

" **I dunno. I guess it was just the magic. The ferocity that came with Cas when we first met. He just, all around him, there was this air of power, or authority, even when I tried shooting him the first time", Dean explained.**

**Sam watched as his brother explained about Cas and it almost seemed that he…couldn't! No, it just wasn't possible. Was it because Cas was an angel? Was it just the power that attracted Dean to Cas? Or, could it possibly be that he was just attracted to Cas in a purely physical way? No, Dean was as straight as a board.**

" **His authority? That's what you're basing your belief on?", Sam asked, incredulously. **

" **I dunno, Sammy. But Cas is power. And, he's so solemn that his words have an air of truth. I know damn well Cas wouldn't lie to me", Dean replied, getting angry that he was getting all hot and bothered.**

" **How? How do you know that he wouldn't lie?", Sam asked, although he had a feeling he already knew.**

" **It's the look in his eyes, Sammy. He's just so solemn, and sad. It's just that his face is so stoic, he couldn't possibly be lying", Dean answered.**

"**Well, he has had a couple thousand years to improve his skill at blank expressions", Sam muttered.**

" **Are you saying that you do believe Cas is an angel?", Dean asked, hope fluttering briefly in his stomach.**

" **I always believed Cas was an angel. I never doubted that. But, as I recall, you were always the one who laughed at religion and God and angels", Sam said.**

" **Yeah, well I never had a reason to believe that there really was a God or angels", Dean replied.**

" **I know that Mom always told you that angels were watching over you, wouldn't it be crazy if Castiel had been watching you before he came into our lives?", Sam asked, just to see the expression on Dean's face.**

**Dean looked at Sam as if he had grown two heads. Then he thought about it, all those times in the shower, or in bed when he was alone. Dean shivered. Could Cas have seen him all those times? And, if he had, what did he think of those moments? Oh gosh, was that why he received all those weird looks from Cas, the ones that always lasted longer than a normal glance would? Or was that just his imagination and his hopes gone wild?**

" **Dean? Helllooooo?", Sam said. He was watching all the emotion that was crossing his brothers face. There was fear, anticipation, desire, hope…maybe even…love? No, that couldn't be it. Dean didn't love, he couldn't fall for a girl, why would he fall for a guy? Then a thought hit him, was it because Cas had saved him from hell?**

**Dean snapped out of his concentration. " Yeah?", he replied, feeling as if he were waking from a foggy dream.**

" **What is with you?", Sam asked, point blank.**

" **What do you mean?", Dean replied, trying and failing to look nonchalant. **

" **What I mean is, you seem as if you doze off for awhile, meanwhile, and I believe you're thinking because I have never once seen emotions cross your face like that before. It's as if a wall comes down and you show how you really feel", Sam explained.**

**Dean felt the inside of him still at that. It just wasn't possible. Dean was always stoic, like stone. He put up walls so that Sammy would never have to deal with the raw pain he felt after all those long years in hell torturing people. He would never let Sammy suffer with him for as long as he lived. **

**Oh sure he had revealed some things to Sam about hell and what happened, but not the whole of it. No one would ever know the truth. Except for Cas. That was why Dean cared about the guy so damn much, because Cas excepted him for what he was, because he knew what had happened. Cas was the only person who knew deep down what was going on, except for his irrational feelings around the man. Cas believed that Dean deserved to be saved, and that was why he cared, it was the root of it. Cas knew what had happened down there, but he just didn't care.**

" **I have no idea what you're talking about, Sammy", Dean replied, grinning like the idiot he was.**

**Sam looked at the face of his brother. He knew that there was something that Dean wanted to tell him. He knew about Hell, not much about what had happened, but enough of it to know that Dean was torturing himself. He could see from Dean's expression that he cared deeply for that angel, which was enough for Sam to know that Dean did in fact love the angel, now he just had to get his stoic brother to admit it.**

" **Oh, but that's the beauty of it. Because I think that you do", Sam replied, as straight-faced as he could be.**

" **Yeah, you would jump to conclusions", Dean said.**

" **What's that supposed to mean?", Sam asked.**

" **It means that you have no idea what is going on inside my head, you just make assumptions", Dean answered, feeling glad that he had glided Sam away from the feelings that Sam wanted to know about.**

" **Oh? And tell me, Dean, what exactly do I think is going on inside your head?", Sam asked, gliding them right back to his earlier question.**

" **Well, I know it ain't lollipops and candy canes. You think there's some kind of emotional thing, right? Like me falling off the wagon because of what happened down in the big fire", Dean replied.**

" **No, that's not precisely it, but now that you mention it-", Sam broke off as Dean groaned.**

" **Oh, go away, will ya? You distract me", Dean said.**

" **Like Cas does?", Sam asked, as innocently as he could.**

**Dean blanched and Sam knew he had hit the nail on the head. He expected an explosion so he closed his eyes. But nothing happened. Sam opened his eyes to find Dean sitting there on his bed, looking mighty guilty.**

" **What?", Sam asked.**

" **How long have you known?", Dean asked, his voice barely above a whisper as though he feared that Cas would hear him, and then it hit Sam. Dean didn't want Cas to know because he thought that the angel would abandon him.**

" **How long have I known what?", Sam asked, wanting Dean to say it.**

" **That I…uh…well that I…desire Cas", Dean finished lamely. He knew that what he felt for Cas went far beyond the physical sense. **

" **Oh, you mean how long have I known that you are in love with Cas?", Sam asked, almost loudly, but he wanted to sound as if it was just a first revelation.**

**Dean blanched and jumped up in a panic. " SHHHHHHHHH!!!!!", Dean said, putting his finger to his lips and looking at Sam frantically.**

**Yeah, Dean definitely did not want the angel to know how he felt. " It's okay, Dean", Sam replied, soothingly.**

" **No, it's not! What if he had heard you? Oh God, what would he think? What would he do? He would turn away from me in disgust, that's what he'd do. Oh no. Sam, you cannot breathe a word of this to him. Oh, if he knew that I had fallen in love with him, he would abandon me. I can't do this, I have to leave before he comes back. He can't know, not ever, I couldn't bear to see the disgust in his eyes as he turned away from me forever", Dean muttered, and at times, almost shouted as he paced the length of the motel room.**

" **I have to leave. I'm gonna leave. Bye, Sam", Dean said as he grabbed his coat and the keys to his Impala and then walked out of the room and shut the door behind him.**

**Sam stood there in the center of the room for two minutes before it registered in his mind that Dean had left, because he was afraid of something. It was then that Castiel stepped out of the shadows of the bathroom and stood there with a curious expression on his face until Sam noticed him, and then said, " Hello Sam."**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of Supernatural(which is just damn sad :P), because I would definitely like to own Castiel and Dean. Anyways...yadda yadda yadda, I hate these things. **

**Enjoy!!**

* * *

**Chapter 2: The Things You Do**

" **Cas", Sam replied.  
**

" **Where did Dean go?", Cas asked.**

" **Umm…a car ride", Sam finished lamely.**

" **Oh. Why?", Cas asked.**

" **Well, he had some thinking to do, I think", Sam replied.**

**Cas looked uncomfortable. He didn't quite know what to do. It looked like he wanted to leave, but he didn't want to seem suspicious to anyone about where he was going and why. He just couldn't help but wonder why Dean would leave without Sam. Unless…Dean's nightmares were coming back and it was starting to bug him.**

" **Do you know what he had to go think about?", Cas asked.**

" **I don't know. Probably what happened in Hell. Cas, he's been really broken up about it, and I know he won't talk about it, but I think maybe you can stop him from this path to self-destruction", Sam replied.**

**Cas's eyes widened in alarm. If Dean was falling apart, there was no possibly way to stop his rampage. Cas knew that Dean would throw himself into battle recklessly, in hopes that one day his gun would fail and the demon, ghost, or whatever would get him.**

**Sam looked at Cas, who for all intent and purpose, looked a little like a lost puppy. He could see the concern etched on the angel's face and he could even see why Dean loved the angel. It was so painfully obvious to him now. With those blue, puppy-dog eyes, how could anyone resist?**

" **Look, Cas, it worries me. I know that Dean suffered down there, and he won't tell me anything. I think you should find him, he'll open up to you", Sam replied.**

**Cas looked up at Sam. Did Sam really have that much faith in him? He knew that Sam was more of a believer than Dean, so why was he so drawn to the older Winchester? Was it the fact that Dean needed to be saved, but didn't believe he deserved it? The thought that Sam believed Cas could help Dean was so reassuring to him.**

" **You believe that?", Cas asked softly, more because he actually wanted and needed to hear it.**

" **I do. You pulled him out of Hell, literally. You have a connection with him that runs deeper than blood. He trusts you with himself, and that makes me trust you with him", Sam answered.**

" **Thank you, Sam", Cas replied, quietly. He looked down from the young hunter.**

**Sam looked at Cas, and had caught the look of love shining in the blue depths of his eyes. Cas loved his brother, accepted his brother, even when Dean was being an ass to him. Which was the hardest test for anyone who got involved with Dean, because Dean was usually an ass-hat to everyone anyway, so the fact that Cas could forgive him for it put Cas in Sam's list of people he likes.**

**Sam knew that the hunter lifestyle meant that people who got in the way were usually hurt or killed. But, Sam also knew that Cas was an angel, which meant that he could defend himself, and they wouldn't have to worry about him, but of course Dean did anyway. **

**Dean stared at the road. The cars were blurring together. Gosh, he wanted to go back. He wanted to face Sam and Cas. He couldn't do it though, he didn't want to face the disgust on Sam's face.**

" **I'm not gay", Dean whispered, as though he were afraid someone could hear him. " I won't be gay."**

**But thoughts of Cas's blue eyes still remained in his mind. The tilt of his head, the confused look in his eyes, the twitch of those angelic lips, the neatly dishevelled hair; it was just enough to make him hard. **

" **Not gay, not gay…not…freakin'…gay", Dean muttered.**

" **Hello Dean", Cas greeted from the seat beside him.**

**The car swerved. " Jesus, Cas", Dean swore. He looked at Cas, who was looking straight at the road. He again had that adorable lost puppy look.**

" **What are you doing here?", Dean asked, trying to sound annoyed when his heart was beating with pure joy.**

" **I could ask you the same question, Dean", Cas replied, sounding quite calm and reasonable, which only succeeded in pissing Dean off.**

" **Oh, I'm sorry Cas, I guess I didn't say it right. I meant, what the hell are you doing **_**IN MY**_** car?", Dean asked, angry at Cas for being so in control when he felt like he was losing his.**

" **Why are you angry?", Cas asked, tilting his head in his, I'm-so-confused-and-adorable-but-no one-will-point-it-out kind of look.**

" **Did Sam send you?", Dean asked, forcing his voice to be calm.**

" **Sam would not have to send me. I come to you of my own free will", Cas answered.**

**Dean sneaked a sidelong glance at Cas, who was staring straight out the window at the road. Free will? Is that what Cas called it? Dean would call it Sam-being-an-ass-who-sticks-his-nose-in-where-it-doesn't-belong.**

" **Hmm. Of course you do. My own guardian angel.", Dean snorted. He could only dream of Cas being his guardian angel. In fact, he did dream of Cas being his guardian angel…among other things. Dean shifted as he started to feel an uncomfortable pressure building in the front of his jeans.**

" **You have no idea what you do to me", Dean muttered under his breath. Then almost instantly regretting his words. Hoping and praying that Castiel didn't hear. He looked at Cas through the corner of his eye, and true enough, Cas was sitting there, with his unblinking stare, boring straight into Dean's soul.**

" **You said something, Dean", Cas said. It wasn't quite a question, but it wasn't exactly a statement either.**

" **Nevermind, Cas", Dean replied, shaking his head.**

" **You are in pain", Cas commented, in his matter-of-fact voice.**

**Dean coughed. Cas had no idea how much pain he was causing, and it had nothing to do with heart pains or anything. Well, sorta. His heart was paining…to tell Cas that he…no. He just couldn't do it. Admitting it wouldn't make it any easier. He couldn't be with an angel no matter what because it was **_**forbidden**_**. Which only made Dean more pissed off at God. What was so wrong with loving angel?**

_**Whoa, cowboy**_**, Dean thought. Love? He didn't even know the meaning of the word, except that **_**his**_** meaning involved the man sitting next to him. **_**No. Not a man. Castiel is an ANGEL!**_**, his mind screamed in a desperate attempt to get his mind off the angel that he couldn't have, because again, it was **_**forbidden**_**. Which was now a word Dean hated more than the word **_**love**_**. Which really meant something, he just didn't exactly know what.**

" **I'm not in pain, Cas. What on Earth would make you think that?", Dean replied, trying to sound nonchalant.**

" **Your face is scrunched and you keep shifting in your seat", Cas replied, matter-of-factly.**

**Dean stopped what he was doing, because for one thing, yes, he was in the middle of shifting in his seat because his pants had become unbearably tight(something he knew he would be going back down into the Pit for), and for another, he had to un-scrunch his face.**

" **There. Better?", Dean asked, trying with his whole heart to sound sarcastic. He failed.**

**Castiel looked at Dean. He gave him a thorough look-over from his head to his feet, which made Dean's pants even tighter so he had no choice but to squirm a little bit, and then he nodded once. **

" **Good. Now I can get on with driving. Is there anything in specific you wanted from me Cas?", Dean asked.**

**Cas thought about it. " No. I guess there is not", Cas replied, sounding strangely sad and disappointed for not having a reason to stay around. " I will leave you then." Dean heard the rustling of wings and then no more.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Oh, The Irony**

**Castiel watched as the hunter entered the motel room. At least Dean had come back safely. Cas sighed. He was going to have to do something for the older Winchester soon because he was sure that Dean was bound to break any day now.**

**He thought back to the drive in the Impala. Dean had looked tense…well, actually Dean always looked tense, but today he looked even more tense, and Castiel just didn't know what to do. What he wanted to do was comfort Dean, tell him how he felt…but he knew it was wrong. What he felt was forbidden in the Heavens. Cas ran a hand through his tousled black hair, making it even more dishevelled as he continued to stare at the room in which the Winchesters were now occupying.**

" **Hello Castiel", a female voice greeted.**

**Cas turned a little bit. " Anna", he breathed.**

" **Why are you out here? Should you not be in there?", she asked, cocking her head towards Dean and Sam's room.**

" **I do not want to disturb them. They are asleep", Castiel replied.**

" **Could've fooled me. Considering there's light coming from the window, I doubt they are asleep. What is keeping you out here?", Anna asked.**

" **Protection. I have to look out for my charge", Cas replied. He always felt fiercely protective of the older Winchester, which made his job of just taking and handing out orders **_**that**_** much harder.**

" **And if you miss something while sitting here on the rooftop?", Anna asked.**

**Cas looked down at the concrete beneath his feet. She always could tell if he were lying, which again made his job **_**that**_** much harder. **

" **You could just talk to him you know", Anna said, gently, as if she were trying to calm a startled horse.**

" **And gain what? His rejection is all that I would get. How on Earth do I explain that I feel so protective around him, that it pains me to see him hurting, that when he smiles his arrogant grin I can't help but smile to myself? Do you really think that would go over well? When I am with him, my heart beats faster, stronger. It is a force I cannot control", Castiel answered.**

**Anna stepped closer, her eyes daring Castiel to tell her to back off. She placed her hand over Castiel's heart. " You heart beats for Dean Winchester, and Dean alone. There can be no other", she said softly, as if quoting someone.**

" **What are you talking about? This is Blasphemy. My heart cannot beat for that man, nor will it ever. I am an angel, he is a human. As much as I wish it were not true, my love can never be voiced", Cas replied, hanging his head.**

" **Is that what you truly believe?", Anna asked.**

" **I do not know what to believe anymore", Cas replied, softly.**

" **There is a prophecy, Castiel. One that is very old, very true. Written by one of the very first prophets. Why do you think you were the one chosen to save Dean? Why do you think you were allowed to stay here? It is willed by the Heavens", Anna said.**

**Cas looked up at Anna, hope shining in his eyes. " What are you saying, Anna?", Cas asked.**

" **I am saying that your love was meant to be Castiel. It was written long before Dean was born. Your love will never be forbidden. That is why you are still here, Castiel. You and Dean were prophesized thousands of years ago. It is written that, **_**'as a new dawn approaches, a new love will be found, between a righteous man and an angel, and it will be held above all others, as a sacred and holy union, never to be broken by the Will of Heaven'**_**. Do you get it now, Castiel?", Anna asked.**

" **Yes. I believe I do", Cas breathed, as he looked longingly towards Dean's motel room door. He heard a flutter of wings and turned around to find Anna had left him. Cas looked up at the stars as the breeze fluttered his trench coat and hair. If it was true that his love was prophesized, then he had to let Dean know how he felt.**

_**He may not want you**_**, Castiel's mind whispered. He shivered, it was true, the love may be prophesized, but that didn't necessarily mean that Dean wanted him. Yet.**

" **Dean! Wake up", Sam called from the bathroom.**

**Dean groaned and turned onto his stomach.**

" **Dean! Come on, I thought you liked breakfast", Sam said, patting his face dry.**

**Dean muffled a curse into his pillow as he turned his head and looked at the clock. 5:30a.m. "Dammit, Sammy", he whispered.**

" **Did you want breakfast or not? I thought you liked food", Sam commented, leaning his hip against the doorjamb, watching his brother closely.**

" **Not at five-thirty in the morning", Dean replied, grumpily.**

" **Too bad. Get up, Grumpy", Sam said, throwing a pillow at Dean's head. It hit him with a soft 'thump'.**

" **Dude, what the hell?", Dean asked, sitting up. " I like you when you're all nice and cheery, but really, Sam, I'm pretty sure no one is up this early."**

" **We are", Sam grinned.**

" **Okay. What drugs are you taking, man?", Dean asked.**

" **None. I just got a full night's sleep without getting any nightly visitors, nightly calls, demon problems, or angel booty calls. I am **_**extremely**_** happy", Sam answered.**

" **Umm…angel booty calls?", Dean asked, walking towards the bathroom.**

" **Yeah, well you know, when Cas shows up at the oddest times. Like during the tight and I wake up and he's at the end of the bed", Sam said.**

" **YOUR bed?", Dean asked, feeling very angry and jealous at the though of Cas standing at the foot of **_**Sam's**_** bed watching **_**Sam**_** sleep.**

" **No, dude. That'd be creepy. Actually it's still kinda creepy either way. He appears at the foot of your bed, Dean", Sam replied, watching his brother's face carefully for any emotion. **

**Dean breathed a sigh of relief. He could feel his whole body relaxing now. Well at least Cas was being fair to him. Dean could swear that if Cas was standing at the foot of someone else's bed, he would kill the other person. Cas was **_**his**_** and his alone.**

_**Whoa. Since when are you so possessive of the angel? Since when are you ever possessive of anything other than your car? What is wrong with you?**_**, his mind lectured. He knew what was wrong with him. He was in love with an angel. A freakin' angel. Dean almost laughed aloud at the irony. After all those women he'd loved and left behind, who couldn't have him, he fell in love with the one creature **_**he**_** himself couldn't have. Irony was a bitch.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: McDonalds**

**Castiel watched the door to Dean and Sam's motel room, actually, he was still watching their door. He hadn't left even after Anna had come and gone. He had to protect Dean, even from himself. He knew the hunter was wallowing in guilt and sadness and it tore Castiel to shreds. He wanted to be able to help the hunter, but he didn't know how. He looked away from the motel door.**

**He heard a husky laugh and looked down to see the two hunters emerge from their room looking fresh and wide awake. Cas knew it was early for them but then again, hunting didn't exactly have a 9-5 work schedule. If Castiel didn't know Dean as well as he did, he would say the young hunter was happy. He wasn't, but just seeing a smile on the young man's lips was enough for Cas.**

" **See? It's still dark out Sammy, I don't think any restaurant will be open", Dean said, as he locked their room.**

" **Well, you always were a charmer, Dean. Maybe you can get some special woman to open it for us", Sam replied, grinning.**

**Dean laughed. " Yeah, okay, Sasquatch. I'll get right on that", Dean said, still smiling. He heard a flutter of wings and looked to see Castiel had landed almost right in front of their path.**

" **Morning, Cas", Sam said, smiling.**

" **Morning Sam", Cas replied, giving the younger Winchester a slight nod in his direction. " Dean." Another nod.**

" **Good morning, Cas", Dean replied, feeling an odd urge to grab Cas and kiss him senseless. He didn't know where it came from, but Cas looked like he had just walked out of bed; his hair was dishevelled, and his clothes were slightly rumpled. Dean almost panicked. Had Cas actually gone to bed with someone? He couldn't believe it, but with Cas you just never knew, the guy was too cuddly for his own good. There was only one man, angel, person that could this to him.**

" **You guys are up early", Cas commented.**

" **Yes, well, blame the alarm clock over here. Threw a damn pillow at my head to wake me up. I think you should smite him", Dean replied, grinning.**

" **You know I can't just go around smiting people, Dean", Cas replied in his low, gravely voice.**

" **Please? For me?", Dean said, batting his eyelashes in an extremely girly way.**

**Cas shook his head. " Sorry, Dean. I'm sure you can come up with something to get revenge on Sam", he replied, letting one of his rare smiles shine through.**

_**Holy shit! Dean is flirting with Cas. FLIRTING! What the hell? Since when does Dean flirt with Cas? Maybe I should've let Dean sleep in a little longer. He's loopy when he's awake at five-thirty**_**, Sam's mind screamed at him. He had figured that Dean was in love with Cas a long time ago, but seeing him act on it was kinda weird.**

**What surprised Sam even more was that Cas was unknowingly flirting right back at him. Or maybe he knew what he was doing, but somehow Sam doubted it. Cas was a true innocent, pure beyond anything imaginable, and he was the one thing that had kept Dean going for the last few months.**

**Coming back from Hell wasn't exactly like coming home from a vacation. More like being sent into war and then being taken prisoner by some of the cruellest people ever. It was tearing Dean apart slowly, but Sam knew that the only reason he kept on going was because Castiel was there to help him in his hardest times. Which Sam appreciated, because he couldn't keep Dean afloat all the while trying to get strong enough to kill Lilith. It did sadden him at times that he couldn't help his brother, but he knew Cas was doing his very best to save him.**

**Sam watched Cas watch Dean with a serious and concerned expression on his face. He knew the angel could see through Dean's smiling and laughing just as easily as Sam could. He sighed. After this was all over, Sam was going to have to buy that angel a fruit basket. He wouldn't eat the fruit, but it was the thought that counted.**

" **Oh great. Look guys. McDonalds", Dean said, sarcastically.**

" **I thought you liked their food", Sam commented.**

" **Not since I got food poisoning", Dean replied.**

" **When did you ever get food poisoning from there?", Sam asked.**

" **I dunno. A while back. Oh well, it's not the best, but I guess I'll try something. Like a muffin", Dean said, grinning.**

" **A muffin? Dude, that wouldn't fill a T-Rex, nevermind you", Sam replied.**

" **Bite me", was the reply as Dean walked away.**

" **Get me hungry enough and I just might", Sam called after him.**

" **You know how stupid I feel standing here waiting to order a blueberry muffin and coffee?", Dean whispered fiercely.**

**Cas put a hand on Dean's arm. It was both comforting and arousing to Dean. This was driving him insane. He looked down at the slightly shorter man. Cas removed his hand and looked away from him.**

**Sam had to bite his lip against screaming out, " Just do it already and get it over with!" Yeah, he didn't think that would go over too well. Watching the exchange between his brother and the angel was excruciating for Sam, mainly because he longed to have that constant companion, someone who would shield you from everything. **

**He knew that the angel would die for Dean. In fact, he would do anything for Dean. That was something Sam knew just by watching the angel around Dean when there was trouble. His stance was always meant to protect Dean should harm try to come to him. Which was never-ending. Their lives sucked. He went back to listening to the old married couple.**

" **Look, Dean, get what you want, I'm not hungry", Cas said, sounding almost exasperated. The girl behind the cash register was cocking her head at them and trying to stifle a laugh.**

" **Yeah well I am. And since you're here, you mine as well eat", Dean replied, grinning apologetically at the girl.**

" **Bite me", came Cas's reply. Sam burst out laughing, he couldn't help it. **

" **You know what…Tina? Can ya just give me a sandwich wrap so I can roll him up and eat him?", Dean asked the girl, who's name read Tina. She looked almost startled at the blatant suggestion in Dean's voice. His voice had turned low, and husky, definitely Dean's bedroom voice, which meant that Dean was thinking dirty thoughts about Castiel. Ew. Gross, definitely not what Sam needed in the morning.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: The Rain**

" **So, you showed up this morning…does that mean there's a problem?", Sam asked, trying to lighten the tension, namely sexual, between Castiel and Dean.**

" **Why would you think that?", Cas asked.**

" **Well, you show up when you have problem for us. You know, seals breaking, demons gathering, that sort of stuff", Sam answered.**

" **No. I am not here for that", Castiel replied, looking over to Dean, who was staring out their motel room window, to where it was dark, cloudy, and pouring rain.**

**Sam watched Cas watch Dean. Castiel seemed impatient, if that was the word for it. Maybe anxious would've been a better description. He noticed that Castiel's sharp features softened a bit when he looked at Dean. Dean looked tense, he always did, it meant he was careful, which was something Sam had always admired in his brother.**

" **Oh. May I ask why you are here?", Sam asked, thinking he already knew the answer after watching Castiel watch Dean. It was quite obvious he wanted to tell Dean of his feelings.**

" **Sam. Leave the man alone", Dean barked from the window. Dean was watching Cas's expression now, and the angel looked nervous, anxious even, which was not something the angel ever did very often. He wondered if the angel knew just how much emotion was actually being shown there.**

" **Well, the angel shows up, I think we have a right to know what the hell is going on", Sam said. He really didn't actually want to be there for Cas and Dean's confessions, but he wanted them to get it out in the open.**

" **I'm going for a walk", Dean announced.**

" **In the rain?", Sam asked, astonished.**

" **Yes. The rain's nice, and I would rather not sit in here all day with you", Dean replied. He grabbed his coat and left the room.**

**Castiel just sat there, staring at nothing.**

**Sam threw his hands up in frustration. He went to say something to Cas but found he was the only one in the room. He growled again in frustration.**

**Dean walked through the rain, uncaring that he was soaking wet to the bone. The wind tore through his light jacket and he shivered a little bit from the chill. He couldn't stand it. He knew Sam knew he had feelings for Castiel, but having him around just made everything more tense between them.**

**He stood in the rain and tiled his head up towards the sky, letting the rain soak his face. It felt good on his skin, having the cold rain tear through him like nothing.**

**He felt eyes on him. He turned his face to see Castiel standing not far away from him, watching him with that steady stare of his. That angel's hair was still sticking up in odd angles, but it made him look more adorable. There were droplets of water running down his face, and Dean had the urge to pick one of the drops and follow it down the angel's shirt all the way down his body. Dean immediately felt a flush start throughout his body, and he turned his face back to the sky and let the cold rain cool him off.**

**Castiel watched Dean. He had his face turned up to the sky and there were droplets of water dripping off of him. Just as if he had called him, Dean turned towards him. His face looked stern but it softened a little bit as they caught eye contact.**

**Dean watched him watching Dean. Castiel couldn't look away, even when the voice inside of his head told him to. He watched Dean's eyes travel down and Cas had the strange notion to look down and he wanted to shiver. The look in Dean's eyes was anything but cold at that moment. Then he saw Dean's body shudder and he didn't know whether it was from the cold or not, but then Dean looked back up to the sky.**

**Castiel took a few steps forward. His young charge was soaking wet, he could tell, he really should teleport them back to the room so Dean could warm up, but he didn't think the hunter would like that.**

" **Hello Dean", he said, as though he had just appeared in front of him.**

**Dean opened his eyes and looked at Castiel. The angel felt like he was under scrutiny, but he held completely still under the assault.**

" **Hey, Cas", Dean said, finally.**

" **I believe the human thing you take is called a shower, but as I recall, that's what the bathroom is for", Castiel replied.**

**Dean chuckled. " Cas, did you make a joke?", he asked.**

**Cas smiled up at his charge. " I believe I did", he replied.**

**Dean would give anything to kiss the smile right off of the angel's upturned lips, but he couldn't bear the thought of Cas looking at him in disgust and then leaving him forever. He looked away from Cas.**

" **Dean? Is something wrong?", Cas asked, searching Dean's face.**

" **No", he whispered.**

" **Are you lying to me, Dean?", Cas asked.**

" **What would happen if I said yes?", Dean asked, meeting Cas's blue eyes.**

" **I wouldn't punish you, Dean, if that's what you think", Cas replied.**

" **I hadn't thought you would, but Cas? I'm scared", Dean admitted, in a low tone.**

" **Being scared isn't a bad thing, Dean", Cas said.**

" **It is for me. If I'm scared-"**

" **If you're scared, it means you're careful, which I know you are whether you are scared or not. I believe in you, Dean. Not just because I have to, but because I want to. You may think you're a bad person, but you aren't. You're every bit the righteous man I know you are", Castiel said.**

" **The things I did. The things I've done-"**

" **Don't matter. Dean, do you honestly think I don't know what happened in Hell?", Cas asked, tilting his head and studying Dean through slightly narrowed eyes.**

" **You know? How could you even for once believe that I can stop the Apocalypse? Stop Lucifer?", Dean asked.**

" **You did start this, Dean. I won't lie about that, Alastair didn't lie about that. It is written that the righteous man who started it is the only one who can finish it. So, how can you think for one moment that you aren't the man to stop it?", Castiel asked.**

" **I'm not strong enough. I'm not the man you want to do this. I'll fail, you know that", Dean replied.**

" **You don't have enough faith in yourself. How do you not see the man that I can see?", Castiel asked.**

" **What man is that?", Dean said, wearily.**

" **I see a strong man. You're loyal to a fault, and sometimes that can get you in trouble, but it's a great quality. You protect your brother from anything and everything, no matter what. You're careful, not trusting, but once someone gains that trust, it's hard to shake it. You're anxious, nervous. You kill because you have to, not necessarily because you want to, and it rips you up inside. You're a good man to have guarding a person's back. When you care about someone, it's not one little piece, you care with your whole heart, which is why you don't like to make connections. You believe you're weak, but you are far from it, Dean. That is the man I see", Castiel explained.**

**Dean stared at Cas, who stared back just as equally. Castiel had been more than observant of Dean, he knew him better than anyone. He knew that Dean had fears, hopes, dreams; but he wouldn't let Sam know them because he had to be the big brother, the fearless one.**

" **Wow. Man, you…", Dean started. " I don't even know", he finished lamely.**

" **Yeah. Try looking in the mirror once in awhile, you might see what I mean", Cas said. **

**Dean looked away and he heard the flutter of wings as Cas left him. He looked up at the sky in silent prayer as the rain pelted him until he couldn't tell his tears from the cold water.**

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So I'm not gonna lie, I almost cried halfway through it. I always figured that Castiel could see Dean better than anyone, so I decided to let him give Dean something to think about. R&R please!!

ENJOY!


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: His Weaknesses**

**Castiel stayed away for a couple of days after that. It really got on Dean's nerves. He needed to tell Cas something, anything, he didn't really know what to say. To know that Cas saw him as a strong person made him feel more in control, a little less moody.**

**However, it didn't mean that he was completely happy about it. The angel saw him, as he was, for who he was, and he didn't crucify him. That was the real miracle there. **

" **Dean?", Sam said.**

" **Yeah?", he replied, wearily.**

" **You alright?", Sam asked.**

" **Yeah, I'm okay", Dean said. " I wonder where Cas is right now."**

" **Well, I'm sure he's not far away. Cas is never that far away from you…uh us", Sam replied.**

" **Oh well, so what about food? I'm starving", Dean said, perking up, for Sam.**

" **Dude, you're always starving", Sam commented with a laugh.**

" **Very true", Dean replied, grinning. **

" **So, where shall we go?", Sam asked.**

" **I dunno. Any place that has food…namely pie", Dean answered.**

**Sam laughed, shaking his head. Of course Dean had to have his pie, that was his custom as an American citizen. They walked down the street laughing and joking with each other. It was a nice night out.**

**Castiel watched the brothers from not far away. They looked happy, even Dean looked relaxed. He felt a weight lift from his heart. If Dean was beginning to believe in himself, then that was one less thing that Castiel had to do.**

**He wanted to believe that Dean would stay happy, but he knew better by now. Dean would always have some guilt and doubt on his shoulder and that would bring him down continually. Cas wanted to get rid of it, but he didn't know how.**

**Dean and Sam ate in silence. Sam continually watched his brother. It seemed that Cas leaving them for a few days had out the older Winchester on edge. Why? Sam didn't know.**

_**Maybe he kissed Cas**_**, his mind whispered. Sam choked and pounded his chest.**

" **Dude! Sam! You alright?", Dean asked.**

**Sam nodded. " I'm fine", he croaked. When really his mind was laughing at him. What a cruel thing those voices were.**

**Dean sat up just a minute longer to make sure Sam was alright and then he sat back in the booth again. He was. He couldn't understand why Sam would choke. That was more of his thing. Sam was too careful.**

_**Oh well. Back to contemplating Cas**_**, his mind whispered. Yes, that seemed all he could think about these days. Did Cas really see him that way? He wasn't brave or strong. Part of him was still left back in the Pit. It shamed him more than anything that Cas had seen what he had done in Hell, but Cas wasn't running and he wasn't smiting, so Dean was okay with it. At least someone knew.**

_**He wanted you to torture someone. He didn't stop it. Didn't even try**_**, a part of his mind yelled. Which was true, he had wanted Dean to torture Alastair, and he didn't stop it, whether he could or couldn't Dean didn't know. He hoped for the latter.**

_**However, he still apologized. He said he would've given anything for you not to have to do it. That counts for something, right?**_**, the other part of his mind yelled. Dean knew it did. Castiel couldn't stop it, Dean knew that, but he hadn't wanted Dean to torture. That was Uriel. He had wanted to see how much the young hunter could take before breaking. Stupid dick angels.**

" **Hey Sam? I'm gonna take a walk", Dean announced.**

" **Okay", Sam said, around a mouthful of food. Dean nodded and got up and left the restaurant.**

**Dean walked around a block or two before he found himself staring at a brick wall. He looked at it, wondering where the hell the wall had come from. That wasn't there before. He turned around and found that he had somehow walked down an alleyway without realizing it.**

" **Dean, Dean. What am I going to do with you?", a voice asked from behind him.**

**Dean turned to look at Cas, shock in his head at the words that had just been spoken by the angel.**

" **What?", the angel asked.**

" **You…Cas, you just…those kind of words are definitely not part of your vocabulary", Dean replied.**

" **You're a bad influence", Cas replied, looking around the alley. " How on earth did you end up here?"**

" **I don't know. I left Sammy at the restaurant, went for a walk, then all of a sudden a brick wall was in my face", Dean answered.**

" **You really should watch where you are going", Cas said.**

" **Yeah, thanks. I'll remember that the next time I walk into an alley", Dean replied, sarcastically.**

" **Do that. I can't always keep you from harm, you know", Castiel said, looking Dean in the eye.**

**Now Dean understood it. Cas was worried about him. Oh well, at least someone was, Sam just let him leave without so much as a question on where he was going.**

" **I know that, Cas", Dean replied.**

**Castiel nodded. " Good", he said.**

" **Uh…Cas? Can I tell you something?", Dean asked, trying to break the awkward silence.**

" **Sure", was the reply.**

" **You know how you said I was strong? That I'm not weak?", Dean asked.**

" **Yes, Dean. I remember", Cas said.**

" **Well, you are right, in a way. I am strong", Dean said.**

" **But?", Cas prompted.**

" **I have weaknesses. Two actually. One is Sam…", Dean started, then faltered as he tried to find a way to say it without sounding too creepy. He couldn't think of any soft way to break it for Cas, so he decided to just come out and say it. " The other one…is you."**

**Cas stood there, not moving or saying anything. Dean watched as he seemed to process the information and file it away for later use. The silence was deafening, he could hear his heart beating and wondered if Cas could too.**

" **Now, would be a good time to say something", Dean breathed.**

" **Why would I be a weakness?", Cas asked.**

**Dean could have smacked himself on the head. Of course Castiel would be practical, that's how Cas was. " The only weaknesses I have are the people I care about", Dean said by way of explanation.**

" **I'm glad to be counted as one of those people", Cas said and then he left.**

**Dean stood there and let out a breath of air he didn't even know he was holding in. Of course Castiel would see it as a friendly way of caring, but Dean knew that his caring for Cas went far beyond a friendship. Now, the only thing left to do was make Cas see it. Dean walked out of the alleyway with definite determination.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey guys. Sorry it took so long to write this but I had a crap load of homework to do. Gotta love school. Anyways, I'm hoping to end this soon, I hadn't expected it to get so long. Anyways, reviews are love! Thanks guys for all your support! Read and Review!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 7: Frustration**

" Well, you look happy", Sam commented, as Dean walked into the motel room.

" I do?", Dean replied, grinning.

" You know you do. You have stars in your eyes. Did you finally tell Cas that you love him?", Sam asked, feeling relief settle through his body.

Dean sobered at that. " Would I really be this happy if I had?", Dean asked.

Sam felt for his brother. He had hoped that it would be easy, but he knew damn well it wouldn't. An angel was a pure being, more innocent than any virgin, and in order to be with a human, well it just wouldn't be allowed.

" Well, when you guys finally admit you love each other, it'll get easier", Sam replied.

" Will it, Sam? I don't think so. Cas is an _angel_. I'm a damn human. There are rules, orders that are working against us. Again, Cas is an angel, remember what Anna said? They're cold, unfeeling; what do you wanna bet Cas is those things? We already know he is", Dean said.

" Yeah, around other people, that doesn't include you", Sam replied.

" Yeah, okay. Maybe…maybe not. Still, even if he did care about me, heaven is still against us. It's not sacred in the eyes of the Lord, remember? You know, the whole gay relationship thing", Dean said. He felt a little stupid quoting some of the religious people, but it was true.

" Cas has bended the rules for you before, I don't doubt for a minute that he wouldn't break them for you", Sam replied.

Dean looked at the floor. He had hoped that Cas would break the rules for him, but he wasn't sure that Cas really would. Could Cas give up Heaven for him? His brothers and sisters? His Father? Dean didn't know. But he knew he had to try. He might get a broken heart, but he needed to know.

" I still think you just tell him. I think you'd be surprised", Sam said.

" Yeah, because that would go over well", Dean replied. If only it was that easy. Dean rolled his eyes at himself. Then Dean started to wonder if it could be that easy…

Castiel sat on a park bench, staring out over the playground riddled with children and parents of various ages. They all seemed so happy. He saw mothers and fathers holding hands, gaze longingly at each other, and even sneak kisses when they thought no one was watching.

Castiel felt a burn in his stomach. He realized this feeling as envy, jealousy even. He would never have a family, no children, no love. As if Heaven hadn't taken enough, they just had to take that.

He was willing to give up his home, his brothers and sisters, hell he would even give up God if he could just find a way to be with Dean. But it wasn't possible. He didn't want to lose his powers because then he couldn't protect Dean properly. Life was a bitch, as Dean would say.

" You're a baby, you know that?", Sam commented.

" Well…I do now", Dean said.

" Smart ass", Sam murmured.

" Bitch."

"Jerk."

" Okay, this is getting us nowhere fast. Any sign of demons, witches, hell I'll even take leprechauns right now", Dean replied, feeling very agitated. He didn't know why, but he just felt like running, shooting, stabbing…ANYTHING. But, sadly, he couldn't do any of that…except for running, but Dean didn't want to leave the room.

Sam chuckled from his laptop. " Leprechauns? Dude, those things scare the living daylights out of you", Sam said, bursting out into full laughter.

Dean threw a pillow that hit Sam right in the face. " Dude, so not funny", Dean replied.

" But no. Silent as the stars", Sam replied, sober now.

" Great. So we get to sit here on our asses all day. This is gonna be fun", Dean commented, wryly.

" Maybe you should just make it easier for yourself and go find Cas…and talk to him", Sam suggested.

" And maybe you should grow a vagina and join Dr. Phil", Dean suggested, smirking.

" Haha. Very funny", Sam said, rolling his eyes.

" I thought so", Dean replied. " I should be a stand-up comedian."

" How about you start with NOT being a coward?", Sam replied, sweetly.

Dean rolled his eyes. That comeback wasn't even worth replying to. It was just pointless.

" You can't keep avoiding it, Dean. You know that the more you try to put it out of your mind, the more it'll come back and bite you in the ass when you finally attack Cas", Sam said, softly.

Dean raised an eyebrow. " Umm…Sammy? 'attack Cas'? What does that even mean?", Dean asked. Then he immediately regretted asking. Suddenly he didn't want to know.

" Would you have preferred me to say when you jump his bones?", Sam answered.

Dean winced. Well, now that Sam put it that way…

" Yeah, I would. I would not attack Cas. That's an awful way of putting it. You make me sound like I'm beating him up", Dean explained.

" Or just having your way with him in a frenzy of need and lust", Sam pointed out.

" Great. Now I sound like pervert", Dean complained.

" No. You don't", Sam said.

" Uh yeah, kinda does. Having my way with him, attacking him, jumping his bones. If that doesn't sound perverted, then I don't know what does. He's a freakin' angel, for God's sakes. So yeah, I do sound like a pervert", Dean replied.

" Well, tell him before you lust gets out of control and you lose it and do end up doing something like that", Sam said, calmly, as he reached for a book.

" How can you be so calm at a time like this?", Dean asked, pacing the room and running a frustrated hand through his short, spiky hair.

" Simple. I'm not getting hot and bothered by an angel", Sam replied, opening the book and sticking his nose in it. Sam could hear Dean as he sighed and flopped on the bed with a frustrated groan. Sam smiled to himself. It wouldn't be long now.


	8. Chapter 8

Okay, hey everyone. Thanks for all the support guys, I really appreciate it. I'm thinking there may still be one or two more chapters left to go. So bear with me. Reviews are love!

Enjoy!

Oh and by the way, in case anyone didn't know, I don't own these characters, however much I wish I did. Not doing this for profit, just for my own personal amusement.

Brunette Chic

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**Chapter 8: Confessions**

Castiel sat staring at the motel that the Winchesters were currently staying in. He was considering finally going to Dean and confessing his feelings. He couldn't help the chill of nervousness that ran through his blood at the thought. So what if their love was prophesized? It didn't mean that Dean actually thought of him that way…if he ever had.

" Hello Castiel", a woman said from behind him.

He recognized her voice instantly. " Anna", he replied.

" I keep wondering why you're out here instead of in there", Anna said.

" Not that it's any of your business, but I'm thinking", Castiel replied.

" Thinking? About what?", Anna asked. Although she had a feeling she already knew.

" What if he can't accept me?", Castiel asked the red-haired woman standing slightly behind him.

" You keep asking that. But maybe you should just tell him and find out", Anna suggested.

" It scares me. This confession. I never expected to feel anything for Dean but the protection of an angel. What an angel feels for their charge. But it's so much more than that. Soul deep. Dean would never be able to understand that kind of love. He would throw it back in my face", Castiel replied.

" No. He won't", Anna assured.

" How do you know?", Castiel asked, turning to face her.

" I just do", Anna replied, cryptically.

" That isn't an answer", Cas growled.

" Neither are some of the ones you give the Winchesters but we all make sacrifices", Anna replied, steadily.

Castiel stared at Anna with something of wonderment. How could she be so calm? He was about to hand his heart over to the eldest Winchester, and he was shaking on the inside. Now he understood why Dean could be so frustrated with him.

Anna sighed. " Fine. Would it make you feel better to know the truth?", Anna asked.

" Yes", Cas replied without hesitation.

" You're right. It is soul deep. You're linked to him. Meant for him. The only one that he will ever be able to love, whether he does now or later. One way or the other, he will fall for you, if he hasn't already. You belong to him, just as much as he belongs to you, and I think you already know that. It was why you were the one who was sent to rescue him from Hell. That prophecy? It's real. The love you feel for him? That's real too. It's time to man up and tell him that. He may not accept it now, but sooner or later, he will", Anna explained.

" That doesn't make me feel any better", Castiel muttered.

" You asked for the truth", was the reply he got.

" The one person I'm meant for happens to be the most thick-skulled person on the planet! And you expect me to just walk up to him and tell him that I love him! Are you insane?", Castiel asked, his voice raising slightly.

" No, Castiel. I am not. But neither are you. You know it's what you have to do. To save him, his soul. Yes, I do know that he is breaking inside from the weight that has been put on his shoulders, it's why he needs someone who will be there for him", Anna said. " Look at him. You see the sadness in his eyes. He needs love and support. He will probably never admit it, but he wants a family. Someone to love, grow old with. Family is what he lives for, and you are the one who will bring that to him."

" Are you saying I get to grow old with him?", Cas asked softly.

" I don't know. That choice is yours, and yours alone, to make. You can choose to fall when you're ready. And before you ask, Heaven would forgive you for it", Anna replied.

" Would it not still be wrong in the eyes of our Father?", Cas asked, fearing the answer.

" No. Father has accepted this prophecy long ago. If you choose to fall, there would be no anger directed at you. Dean and you could live in peace. Remember, that bond can never be broken", Anna explained.

" Or so you keep telling me", Cas replied.

" Do you think I'm lying?", Anna asked.

" I don't know. Maybe. I just don't know if it's a good idea to tell him or not", Castiel said.

They both looked down when a door opened. They saw Dean walk out into the night air. Anna shot him a look. " Well, now's your chance", she whispered. The sound of wings fluttered through the air.

" I guess I must try", Castiel sighed.

Dean breathed the cool night air. He would never admit it to anyone, especially Sam, but nights after a fresh rain were his favourite kind of night. When he was younger, he always thought it was the time for special things to happen.

He had left his keys in the motel room. If Sam wanted to leave, Dean wouldn't stop him. He just couldn't find it in him to care anymore. Sam didn't need an older brother anymore, and Dean couldn't help the pang of sadness that hit his chest.

He just wanted to walk, that was all. A little peace and quiet, away from Sam, from everything, is just what the doctor ordered. Dean smiled to himself. He heard the flutter of wings behind him and sensed the presence of Castiel before the angel even spoke.

" Hello Dean", Cas said.

Dean stopped and turned around to look at the angel. His hair was slightly rumpled, and his tie was still hanging askew. " Hey Cas", he greeted.

" What are you thinking about?", the angel asked.

" Oh you know, the usual", Dean replied, absently. He looked away, suddenly ashamed of hating himself, especially in the presence of his angel. Wait, no not _his _angel, _the _angel.

He went to look at the angel and found himself toe-to-toe with the angel. He looked into startling blue eyes, then looked away. As if the angel couldn't seem to remember a simple thing as personal space, not that it mattered, because he didn't want the angel to move away, but he thought that the angel would get suspicious if he just let him stand there.

" You do remember my lecture on personal space, right?", Dean asked, licking his lips. The angel took a step back from him, then another. Dean felt as if he could breathe right again.

" You still doubt yourself", Cas said, as if with a sigh of exasperation. Dean wanted to smile at that, the exasperation, but he was happy that someone wouldn't give up on him.

" Maybe", Dean replied.

" You know, I may never understand humans. Especially you. We both know what you did down in Hell. Sam knows part of what you did down in Hell. You have people that love you, people that care about you, you can't say that you're alone in this world", Castiel explained.

" Can I count you as being someone who gives a rats ass about me?", Dean asked, albeit softer than he had wanted.

" Dean, you know that I care", Cas replied.

" You don't have to stay, you know. You could go back home", Dean said, resigned.

" Do you want me to go, Dean?", Cas asked. " I will leave, but only if you want me to."

" No, I don't want you to go", Dean replied.

" Good."

" Is there something you needed, Cas?", Dean asked.

" There is something I wanted to tell you", Castiel answered.

" Okay. What is it?"

Castiel chewed his bottom lip, a custom he had picked up on for when humans get nervous. He didn't know whether he could tell Dean or not. Would Dean view it as wrong? Cas didn't know.

" Cas? What's wrong?", Dean asked, edging closer to the nervous angel.

" I love you", Castiel replied in a big rush of breath, before disappearing out of sight, leaving Dean standing there with his mouth hanging open.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9: A Start**

_I love you_. The way Castiel had said it was…panicked at most. But then he had left him there…by himself. He didn't even give Dean a chance to stop him and tell him the same thing. Gosh why did love have to be so hard? It was worse when he thought about the fact that the one person he loved was an angel.

" I'm not gay", he whispered. But, he did love an angel. Did that make him gay? He didn't know, he'd never thought of other men that way, but when he looked at Cas…he groaned to himself.

Castiel had been made for long nights of loving. With his dishevelled hair, askew tie, long tan trench coat, and those forever kissable lips, he was definitely made for loving. But not with him. Dean shook his head. It was wrong to think of the angel that way. But the angel had said that he loved him. And then he had promptly left.

Dean felt like hitting a tree. Or a person. Stupid angels. They tell you they love you and then leave you hanging high and dry. Or at least one of them did. Why? He punched a tree as he walked by.

" Shit!", he yelled into the night. He curled his knuckle close to his body and started back for the motel.

_I love you_. Those words played like a recording through his mind. Cas had truly meant it, Dean knew that without a second thought. But then, if he meant it, why did he leave him so suddenly? Dean stomped towards the motel. Then he stopped dead in his tracks.

Cas was afraid of being rejected. That made sense. Pfft, if his hand hadn't been incapacitated at the moment he would've slapped himself. Of course it would be because of rejection, the angel knew who Dean was after all. Dean was reputed to be a lady's man, which would contradict his feelings now. Oh if only that angel had stuck around.

" I'll get you yet, Cas", Dean whispered, as he entered the motel room.

" Hey Dean", Sam said absently from his bed. He had his laptop on his lap and he was reading something very intently.

" Hey", he replied.

Sam looked up from his laptop. " What happened to you?", he asked.

" Oh, just got told by an angel that he loves me, then got left alone by said angel, then punched a tree causing me to fracture my knuckle, yelled at the heavens, and I have a killer headache. Any other stupid questions?"

" No."

" Good. I'm gonna get cleaned up. Then I'm going to bed for a long nap", he replied as he walked to the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. He mentally added that he was going to kick some angel ass later.

When Dean walked back out to the main room, Sam was still sitting there, watching his laptop with something akin to obsession. It was really starting to bother him now.

" Sam."

" Yeah", came a not-really-there reply.

" What the hell are you doing?"

" Nothing."

" Sam." It sounded a lot like a warning now.

" Hmm?"

" Oh for the love of God, what the hell are you doing?", Dean replied, then chuckled to himself. He just said the Lord's name. If Cas were here he would've stuck his tongue out like a little boy. Then he realized Sam was staring at him with something bordering on mild exasperation but was quickly becoming rabid annoyance.

" What's wrong?", Dean asked, trying and failing to feign innocence.

" You really want to know what I'm doing?", Sam asked.

" Yes."

" Come here and I'll show you."

A few hours later…

" You were reading fan fiction?", Dean asked incredulously. He stared at the screen which still held a story of him and Cas.

" Yes. It's amazing what people will come up with", Sam replied, in a slightly awed voice.

" Why?", Dean asked.

" The stories…the different things they come up with, it's amazing. I mean not between us, that's gross, but you and Cas", Sam answered.

" I could punch you for that", Dean commented.

" You could. But you won't. So, apparently you stare at Cas…a lot", Sam replied, closing his laptop and crossing his arms over his chest. He was smirking.

Dean felt a blush rising from his toes to his head. He prayed Sammy didn't see, but of course he did. " Do not", he replied.

" Oh yes, you do. You do it in the books, and you do it in real life. Don't think I don't have eyes, Dean. I can see it", Sam replied.

" Dude, no chick flick moments", Dean said.

" That's because you know it's true. I'm okay with it, Dean. Have been for awhile. It's only natural that you would find love with an angel. You deserve it", Sam replied.

" I deserve it? So, I deserve all the pain me and him will go through because I love him? I can't let him turn away from heaven, from all of this, just because of me. I don't deserve this, you know that. Try as I might, I can't be a righteous person, I'm not good. The things I did in Hell, I don't deserve to be saved, nevermind being loved by a freakin' angel!! I'm not GOOD ENOUGH!", Dean roared through the motel room.

" Feel better now?", Sam asked.

" No", Dean muttered.

" You got it out there. That's a start", Sam replied.

" A start? For what? Forgiveness? Sam, since when does forgiveness ever find me? Hell, I don't even know if I can forgive myself. I tore people apart, Sammy. For ten years, I sliced, mutilated, ripped, tore every single soul that was placed in front of me. But you already know that. There's nothing good inside of me", Dean said.

" That's a lie", a voice said from behind Dean.


	10. Chapter 10

Hmmm....so I never actually planned for her to be this long. Yeah my muse lied when she said I only had a couple of chapters left. Such a bitch. I just can't seem to stop writing! I want to give my story a proper storyline, one that doesn't involve me smooshing everything together in order to get through it quickly. So I'm building it up, sue me :P. Anyways, reviews are love! R&R!

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 10: Sleeping In**

Dean turned around, surprised to find Castiel standing behind him. And, the angel looked angry. Dean wasn't sure whether that was good thing or not. He decided it was better than not seeing any emotion on the angel's face at all.

" What are you talking about?", Sam asked, making Dean jump just slightly.

" I said that it's a lie. Dean is worthy of forgiveness. That much I know", Cas said.

" Oh yeah? And how would you know?", Dean asked, challenge was plain in his voice.

" This is how." Before Dean knew it the angel has crossed to in front of him and leaned in slightly to press his lips against Dean's.

Dean never had a chance to react because Cas pulled back and looked at him. Castiel looked slightly dazed and Dean mused that if just a press of lips could do that to him, then what would going farther do to the angel? However, he never got the chance to react because Cas left as silently as he came in.

" What do you have? Avoidance issues, you feathery son of a bitch!", Dean yelled at the ceiling. When nothing happened, he threw up his arms in defeat and plopped himself down on his bed.

" Well, that went…swimmingly", Sam murmured.

" Yeah, wouldn't you know Cas to be the one to kiss and run?", Dean asked, setting his arms behind his head, then he just stared at the ceiling.

" I think it was impulsive. I just kinda wonder why he would do that to convince you that you deserve to be forgiven", Sam replied.

" I dunno. Reassure me of his faith? How the hell should I know?", Dean asked.

" Well. He is _your_ angel", Sam pointed out.

" He's not my angel! He is an angel. He belongs to no one", Dean replied, angrily.

" But you want him to belong to someone", Sam replied quietly.

" Oh and who's that?", Dean asked, sarcastically, but of course Sam would never take it that way and let it go.

" You, Dean. Who else did you think I meant?", Sam replied.

" I dunno. Coulda been anyone."

" Yeah cause you would want him to belong to anyone else but you. You would kill the person who tried to steal Cas from you", Sam said.

Dean smiled. " Yeah that sounds like me."

" That much was obvious. Man, he's trying to get through to you but you have the thickest skull on the face of the Earth. Why can't you accept that you deserve to be saved? Why can't you let yourself be saved? Let yourself find happiness, Dean", Sam replied.

" Because there is a freakin' Apocalypse on our asses, that's why. So excuse me if I'm not feeling very happy right now but we're trying to stop the world from ending here", Dean snapped.

" So you can't allow one moment of happiness from shining through?", Sam asked.

" No."

" You know you'll live to regret this, right? You not going out there and letting Cas know how you feel, it'll tear you apart in the end."

" What do you want me to do? Huh? Go after Cas and confess my undying love for him? How many times do I have to repeat it? Maybe I'll repeat it one last time and maybe then you'll understand. He is an _angel_, and I am a _human_. Now, if you'll remember correctly, angels are pure innocence, and feeling, any kind of emotion, is unwise for an angel to do. Otherwise, they fall. Do you really think I want Cas to fall to earth and become one of us? A miserable, low-life bastard? No. He needs his Grace. Out of all the angels I have met so far, Cas is the only one I feel that is worthy to be called an angel, and I will not soil him", Dean explained, then added, " Ever. He is too good for that." Dean turned off his light and flipped over. And, for the first time in a long time, he cried silently until he fell asleep.

" Hey. Brought you a coffee", Sam said, as he walked into the motel room.

Dean grunted what could have been an "okay", but it was muffled by the pillow he was currently suffocating himself with.

" What time is it?", Dean asked, rolling over so he could breathe.

" Oh, about ten in the morning", Sam said.

" This is a change. Since when do you sleep in?", Dean asked.

" I didn't. I've been up since five but I thought I'd let you sleep", Sam replied, handing Dean the coffee.

Dean took the cup and then raised his eyes to Sam. " So, you want something."

" No."

" C'mon Sam don't lie to me."

" I don't. I just thought I'd let you sleep in. There's nothing going on right now, so I figured I'd let you rest", Sam replied, looking away.

" Not that I don't appreciate it cause I do, but you never let me sleep in. What's wrong?", Dean asked.

" You…I know you had nightmares last night. I could hear it when you cried out for help. For Cas. I tried to wake you but you came up swinging. I called for Cas and he came and put you back to sleep. You were sleeping so peacefully that I thought I'd let you keep sleeping that way. Cas came by earlier to see if you were okay, I told him you were sleeping like a baby", Sam explained.

Dean didn't even answer Sam. It was bad enough that he was having nightmares, but Sam and Cas knowing about that? It didn't sit right with him. He didn't want them to know, this was his battle alone, he had to fight it by himself. Now that Cas knew, he would never let him live it down, and neither would Sam.

" Why didn't you ever tell me you were having nightmares? Hell, why didn't you at least tell Cas?", Sam asked, softly.

Dean struggled. What was he supposed to tell Sam? That he didn't want his weakness to be known because then he wouldn't be the tough older brother anymore? Yeah that would be something to tell Sam, and give him more ammunition over Dean. Well it ain't gonna happen.


	11. Chapter 11

Okay, so for anyone who read chpater 9 and got the whole fanfiction thing, well, we know that Chuck types season four as it goes along but doesn't publish it..... at first. I haven't seen season 5, cause I don't have satellite and dial-up sucks ass. So I'm writing a version where Chuck has published a few books by the end of season four, therefore, people have started to ship Dean/Cas. Hope that answers any questions! Remember, reviews are love!

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 11: Can't Let Go**

" You know, it's kinda suspicious", Sam said later that day. He had to say something to break the silence. It was kinda awkward after their chat earlier about Dean's nightmares. That hadn't gone so well, and Sam didn't want Dean to feel uncomfortable with him.

Dean stiffened. " What do you mean?", he asked. He didn't want to hear anymore about his nightmares, earlier had been enough and Dean just wanted to let it go, but knowing Sam, it wouldn't be let go by a long shot.

" Well, there's nothing going on. I mean, absolutely nothing. Everything doesn't just stop all of a sudden", Sam explained.

" Unless there's something big being planned", Dean replied, finishing his brother's thought trail, relieved that it wasn't about earlier.

" Exactly. I've phoned Bobby, nothing at all. And Cas isn't coming by with news of some big plan, so something's going on out there and no one knows what it is, where it'll be, or when it is. My question is, it has to be big enough for there to be nothing going on, so who's running the show?", Sam mused.

" You know, I wish someone would come by and TELL US SOMETHING!", Dean said, his voice getting louder as he stared at the ceiling of their motel room. Nothing. Dean threw up his hands once again in frustration and settled back into his chair. Both of them settled into a quiet thinking lapse of time for awhile.

" Is he mad at me?", Dean asked into the silence.

" Why would you ask that?", Sam asked, not even looking up from his laptop.

" Uh, well for starters, he isn't coming around. And when he has shown up, it's when I'm not around, or sleeping. So tell me Sammy, is he mad at me?", Dean practically growled at Sam.

" No, gosh no", Sam scoffed.

" You sure about that?", Dean asked.

" Positive", Sam replied.

" So, I'm not overreacting?", Dean asked.

" Yes, you're overreacting! Now just go find the guy and do something about it before you drive me insane!", Sam yelled.

" Maybe I will", Dean replied, quietly.

" Good. You'll feel better, Cas will feel better and won't have to keep hiding, and I'll feel better. We'll all feel better!", Sam commented, all in one breath. Dean was impressed.

" Yo, Sammy. Calm down. Take a breath, relax", Dean said, looking at his brother and feeling very pressured about everything.

" I'm trying. Do you think it's easy watching my brother let the best thing he's ever had slip away?", Sam asked.

Dean stiffened at that. " What do you mean?", Dean growled.

" Well, Cas…it's just, he's giving up a lot and I know that this is hard for you to understand, but you need to, because he really cares about, and you know he's a good guy. So just trust your instincts and go find him", Sam explained before adding, " Before you lose him."

" Fine, fine. I'm going", Dean replied, getting up and heading over to the door. He didn't let Sam see the panic he was feeling. He couldn't lose Cas! Not now, not ever! He decided he couldn't love without the angel and that was just the way it was.

Dean had been walking around the town for a half an hour and he couldn't decide if he wanted to call Cas or not. If he did and Cas really didn't want him…which he couldn't understand, the angel had kissed him the night before, and while it was only the slightest meeting of lips, the angel still looked dazed over. So Dean didn't believe for one moment that Cas didn't want him, but did he love him?

Dean didn't know, but he did need to know, and he didn't want the angel to leave him by himself. Sure, he had Sammy, but that just wasn't the same as having Cas, the angel who did know the meaning of personal space.

He couldn't let Cas leave, the angel was the only one who believed in him, who could see through to his soul and it didn't scare him away. He stayed around even though Dean had no faith in anything. He put up with Dean's ass-hat behaviour, his jokes, everything, and it still didn't bug him. Well, it did piss Cas off every once and awhile, but Dean did that to people.

" Cas! If you're out there Cas, please, I need to talk to you", Dean called to the night sky. Nothing happened. At all. As if Dean didn't have enough problems, now Cas wouldn't answer him? Then, he thought that maybe Cas had already left him…

" Hello Dean", a gravely voice said from behind Dean.

" Cas", Dean breathed, as he hung his head.

" You wanted to talk to me?", Cas asked, sounding all business-like.

" Talk to you, hug you, kiss you. As long as I can see you, I'm great!", Dean replied.

" Why would you not be able to see me?", the angel asked, cocking his head to the side with his familiar confused, lost puppy look.

" Uh…well Sammy said that I could lose you and when you didn't answer I thought maybe you had left me", Dean explained, feeling really weirded out, he didn't do chick-flick moments, yet here he was, shaming himself in front of Cas.

" I wouldn't leave you, Dean. What Sam said was false, you are my charge, therefore, I protect you. I can't protect you if I leave", Cas replied.

" True. But then if you aren't leaving, then why did Sam say…oh. Man am I the biggest idiot on the planet", Dean commented.

Castiel sighed. " Dean, how many times must I tell you-"

" It's an expression, Cas", Dean smiled.

" Why would anyone want to call themselves an idiot? That doesn't make sense", Cas replied.

" Course it doesn't. That's why we're modern", Dean said.

" Why did you call me, Dean?", Cas asked.

" Umm…well, I have to tell you something. Look, you know I'm not big on chick-flick moments…oh, you know what? I was always better at show and tell than just tell", Dean replied, as he grabbed Cas's lapels and dragged him close to his body.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12: The Prophecy**

The angel's eyes went wide and he had no time to say anything as Dean leaned in and pressed his lips against Cas's. Cas's lips were firm and smooth, and very warm. Dean leaned his head a bit as he wrapped one hand around the angel's neck to deepen the kiss. He felt the angel start to respond to him as Cas relaxed into his body. One of the angel's arms wrapped around his neck while the other wrapped itself around his waist.

Dean pulled away slowly and looked at the slightly more dishevelled angel and grinned. They were both panting. That was a kiss! A KISS! What would sex do for them? Dean didn't know, and he wasn't going to find out, because as soon as the other angels, not to mention God(if there was one) heard about this, Cas would be no more, or he'd be gone. Either way, that was as far as Dean was going to go.

" So that's what a kiss is like", the angel murmured.

Dean smiled at the angel. " Yes, Cas, that's a what a kiss is like. Although I've never had a kiss like that before, but that was…awesome", Dean replied.

It was so amazing that Dean leaned in for more. His lips meshed against the angel's and he wrapped his hand around Cas's neck once more to deepen the kiss. The angel responded once again by wrapping one hand around Dean's neck and into his short hair and the other went around to grip Dean's back as he tried to stop his knees from giving out.

Dean parted his lips ever so slightly so that his tongue could peek through and trace the seam of Cas's lips. It wasn't long before the angel got the hint and parted his lips just enough so that Dean could slip his tongue inside Cas's mouth. Funny enough, the angel tasted like raspberries and the air after it had been snowing or raining. Castiel also had a musky taste that was all his own and Dean drank every bit of that taste as he could. Eventually they both came out of the kiss for air but then Dean gave Cas a quick peck on the lips before moving away again, much to the angel's disappointment.

Dean grinned at the angel. He couldn't help it. They were both panting once again from their explosive kiss, but Dean couldn't feel happier than he did at that moment. Or more turned on. Apparently he had ran his hand through Cas's hair while they had been kissing so it looked even more dishevelled, and his lips were swollen and his eyes were now a dark blue with the pupils blown so wide it was hard to tell the blue from the black. Yep, Dean would be going to Hell for making an angel look like a bedroom fantasy. But at the moment, Dean couldn't care less.

" So, you were trying to tell me something?", Cas asked.

Dean hung his head. Well, that officially ended their moment. " Are you dense? Do I actually have to spell it out for you?", Dean asked, sounding mildly exasperated and Cas had to hide a smile before Dean could see it.

" Spell what out for me?", Cas asked, cocking his head.

" I love you!" Dean yelled into the night. Then he quieted down and actually looked like a kicked puppy. Dean was pretty sure his face was beet-red.

" I see", Cas said.

" You see? What do you mean, you see? My gosh I just poured my heart out to you and all you can come up with is 'I see'? What the hell?", Dean yelled.

" I already told you last night that I love you", Cas replied.

" Oh well, doesn't matter anyway, right?", Dean asked.

" What do you mean?", Cas asked.

" Love means nothing to the big guy. You're an angel, I'm a human, you know, that sort of thing", Dean answered.

" I don't understand. The feelings are mutual, why would there be a problem?", Cas asked, his brow furrowed in frustration.

" Me and you? It wouldn't work out", Dean replied.

Cas didn't say anything after that, he just tried to figure out what Dean could mean. He knew what Dean meant by the Big Guy, he was talking about God. But God accepted this as a rite of passage, it was destiny. Cas knew that the prophecy was real, and he knew he wouldn't be forced to fall for falling in love with one human above all others.

And of course Dean wouldn't know this, but he had to know that love meant something to God, in fact, it meant everything. So then why would Dean say something like that? Then it dawned on him and he felt his heart sink. Dean only reciprocated because he didn't want Cas to feel bad for having spilled his heart. He could feel his heart breaking, but he knew he still had to let Dean know of the prophecy, before he left him.

" Dean, there is something you must know", Cas said quietly. He tried not to let his disappointment show through because he didn't need pity.

" What is it?", Dean asked. He noticed that Cas wouldn't look at him and he wondered why. Cas always looked him straight in the eye, especially when he needed to tell him something important, and for Cas, everything was important.

" There is a prophecy. One that is very old, written by one of the very first Prophets of the Lord. I believe you will need it for future reference", Cas replied, still not looking Dean in the eye.

" Okay, well tell me what it is", Dean stated, trying his very best to stay calm. He had a feeling that Cas was just dragging it out, probably because it was quite important and he didn't want Dean to forget it.

" It is written that, _'as a new dawn approaches, a new love will be found, between a righteous man and an angel, and it will be held above all others, as a sacred and holy union, never to be broken by the Will of Heaven'_", Cas retold Dean.

Dean was shocked and trying to figure out what that could mean. He had turned away from the angel to think about it. He went to ask Cas what it meant, but when he turned around, the angel had left as silent as he always came and Dean found he was alone again.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13: Figuring It Out**

Dean trudged back to the hotel feeling angry and disappointed. Why would Cas just leave like that? He didn't even explain what the hell the prophecy meant. He was tired and he just wanted to sleep for a year.

He opened the door to the motel room and walked in. It was no surprise that Sammy was still up. He was sitting there at the little table, reading something on the laptop.

" Hey, where's Cas?", Sam asked, not even looking up from the laptop. Dean was gonna have to hide that thing somewhere.

" I don't know. He left", Dean growled in response.

This time Sam did look up. " Dude, you look like hell, what happened?", he asked.

" Oh you know, stuff. You'll be happy to know that our love is out in the open now", Dean replied, with a very sarcastic tone.

" You don't seem too happy about it", Sam commented dryly.

" Really? You think? I open up my heart, tell him how I feel, he gives me a prophecy and then leaves me hanging. What the hell am I supposed to be happy about?", Dean replied.

" Okay, so tell me what happened", Sam said. And so Dean went on to tell him the whole story of what happened, leaving out the details of their little make-out session.

" **YOU SAID WHAT? **You tell him it doesn't matter and then you say it won't work!!!!!! What the hell were you thinking? It's no wonder he just left, you probably broke the poor guy's heart saying those things. You, for one, should know out of all of us how bad Cas is with modern language, not to mention you!!!", Sam yelled.

" Are you done?", Dean asked, wearily.

" No, I'm not done. What the hell is the matter with you? How can one person be so stupid? You had the best thing there is. Someone who accepts you for who you are, despite the fact that you treat the guy like shit. **And he always comes back**. Personally, I don't know why he does, he should just leave you alone and then maybe you'll learn your lesson, **but God knows you won't because you are the stupidest, most stubborn man on the planet who doesn't even know his own self-worth!!!!!**", Sam continued yelling.

" Are you done making me feel like dirt?", Dean asked, quietly.

" Yes, and you should. Why Cas fell for you in the first place, I'll never know", Sam commented.

" Yeah, you and me both", Dean muttered. He knew it was bad when Sam was wondering why Cas would want to be around him, nevermind love him. " Well, I'm going to bed, it's been a **long** day." And with that he settled into his bed and tried and failed to get some sleep.

**Three weeks later…**

Not a sign of Cas. None. At all. For three weeks, and Dean was getting tired. He couldn't sleep anymore, not even a little bit. He wanted to see Cas, to hear his gravelly voice. But the angel didn't come to his calls anymore, or Sam's. He did leave messages though…with Sam.

Dean sighed. So the angel was avoiding him. Fine, two could play at that game. He didn't care, the angel could do what he wanted, it didn't matter. The problem was, it did matter, and Dean knew it. Sam knew it too, but he knew what was good for him and he kept his mouth shut.

The words of the prophecy that Cas had revealed three weeks earlier still rang in his ears. What new dawn? What was that supposed to mean? Could it be that when another day starts…no, that just didn't sound right, because then it could've happened thousands of years ago if that was the case. No, it was something bigger, but Dean just didn't know what.

Sam walked into their new motel room with a steaming bag of something. Food, probably but Dean wasn't hungry. That surprised even him, but he ate out of necessity for strength.

" I got some pie", Sam announced, to no one in particular but wanting his brother to take the bait. Pie was everything to Dean, or it used to be.

" That's great", Dean replied without any enthusiasm.

" Okay. Are you feeling alright?", Sam asked, sitting at the table.

" Yeah, fine", Dean mumbled.

" Yeah, okay, and I was born yesterday. Look, Dean, if you miss him that much, go call him", Sam replied.

" And what do you think I've been doing for the past three weeks? Sitting around on my ass?", Dean replied, his anger showing in his green eyes.

Sam just gave him a look.

" Okay, so I have been doing some sitting on my ass for these three weeks. But when I'm not I've been trying to call Cas, but he doesn't answer me", Dean replied, slumping back onto the bed.

" You know, I don't really know what I'm going to do with you two. You guys are avoiding each other like the plague and it's driving me insane. I hate seeing you like this, and Cas, when I do see him for all of about five seconds, he looks like crap. You guys need to talk to each other, that's what a relationship is", Sam replied, shoving the food he had brought out away from him.

" Okay, I need help. Cas told me that prophecy before he disappeared and I never saw him again. He didn't tell me what it meant and he left before I could ask. You have it written down, maybe we should try to figure out what it means", Dean suggested.

" I guess we kind of have to. It seems important, and it must be for Cas to have told you. But I've already figured out that it's talking about love", Sam replied.

Dean rolled his eyes. " Yeah so did I. It's already written in the prophecy, smart-ass", Dean said, as he walked over to the table and sat down. Sam put out the paper of the prophecy and they read it over silently.

" Okay, so a new dawn…what could that mean? You know cause 'dawn' would be the beginning of something…and this 'new dawn' is approaching. So something new is approaching. Hey, I was thinking, what if it's the Apocalypse?", Sam mused.

" Could be. Okay, so the Apocalypse is approaching, which would be the new dawn, or a new world, in this case. Obviously, love happens, because it says it right in the next line. But a love between who?" Dean asked.

" Well, between a righteous man and an angel", Sam replied, matter-of-factly.

" Bitch."

" Jerk. Okay, but it will be held above all others. So, it's pure, alive. My guess is it's true love, something deeper than the heart. And it's sacred and holy, so it could be between a religious person and an angel, which would make perfect sense. So, what are we gonna guess it's Cas and…" Sam rubbed his chin, trying to pretend to think of someone, but really he wanted Dean to realize exactly who it was about. But then again, Sam wasn't the smarter brother for nothing.

Dean felt his heart race. It couldn't be Cas, no…just no. That just wasn't right. Not for Cas, it had to be someone else. And who would Cas be with anyway? The only people he corresponded with were him and Jimmy, as far as humans go…well then there was Sam, but that just didn't make sense.

" Jimmy", Sam finished his thought, disappointed.

" It could be, I guess. Ah well, okay so, 'never to be broken by the Will of Heaven'. That's kinda heavy, if you ask me. So, no matter what it can't be broken?", Dean asked.

" I guess not. Kinda nice, actually. To be able to love someone without the fear of persecution or being broken apart because most people would consider it _wrong_", Sam said, emphasizing some key points in his statement.

" Yeah, it would be nice", Dean murmured as he skimmed the paper again. He knew it would be nice to be able to be with Cas without the fear of Cas falling to Earth because of him. Because of their relationship. Dean didn't consider himself gay, but he knew some church-goers consider it a sin. He knew it was wrong to love an angel, it was forbidden, and with the up and coming Apocalypse, Dean knew this was no time to discover love.

Dean started to put the pieces of the puzzle together in his mind. It would make sense why Cas would tell him this and leave, because he was one of the lovers, and the other one was some holy church person that he didn't know and didn't care to know. The thought made him bitter.

_As if it would happen to be Cas. Finally find someone you can love, and then Heaven just takes it away again. Isn't that just the way the life of Dean Winchester goes?_, his mind whispered angrily at him. It was taunting him, the thought of Cas with someone else for eternity. And it pissed him off. Cas was _his_ and no one else's.

He got back to putting puzzle pieces together. Okay, so this was about the coming Apocalypse, that's when this new love will be discovered. Between some righteous man and an angel(which could be Cas, but Dean didn't want to think too hard on that one), and it would be above all others; pure, alive, a true love. It would be sacred and holy, and it could never be broken, which would also support the true love theory. It actually made sense, but then who were the two people? A righteous man…and an angel…the answer was right there on the tip of his tongue, but it just wasn't coming to him. _A righteous man…and an angel. A righteous man…and an angel_, his mind replayed over and over again. Then it hit him and he nearly fell out of his chair with the sheer force of it.

" I know what it means!", Dean yelled, and Sam did fall out of his chair when Dean jumped and Dean didn't even notice as Sam bashed his head off the floor.

* * *

Okay, so just a small little blurb from me, I apologize if I have offended anyone by the whole religious thing. I'm not religious, I'm an atheist. I don't believe in that sort of thing. It's just I've known like extreme radically religious people who go on and on about gays being a sin. I'm not gay myself, but I support the gays, and I don't think it's right. It is their beliefs and all, but it just angers me. So I'm sorry if you're one of those people or know one of those people, but it just figures that Dean would be thinking that, considering he's not religious. That's just my point of view, and if you don't like it, I'm sorry, nothing I can do about it.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14: Blame It On Fate**

" I've got it! I know what it means! This is amazing, I can't believe it!", Dean exclaimed.

Sam just stared at him, Dean had never looked more happy in his life, and Sam was glad because he wanted Dean to be happy. Dean deserved it more than anyone in this world. Dean had sacrificed so much for him, their dad, heaven; basically just everyone.

" You can't believe it? What about this can you not believe?", Sam asked.

" Well, just that I can love someone. You know, like actual love. One that won't be taken away from me. Do you know how awesome that is?", Dean asked, not even being able to contain his happiness any longer.

" I do now", Sam replied, watching his brother. Dean was alternating from laughing to smiling to grinning and back again.

" Wait, I pushed Cas away from me, told him it won't work. Do you think he'll still be around?", Dean asked, his happiness dimming.

" I don't know, Dean. I mean, he's usually not very far away from you because he protects you, but after what you told me you said to him, and him being the really serious type, I'm more inclined to believe he's taking a break, I guess", Sam answered.

" Well, good thing you aren't sugar coating it", Dean replied, dryly.

" Well, you did ask. All I'm doing is answering it", Sam said.

" Think I can get him back?", Dean asked, feeling a familiar weight of fear settle in his chest.

" Only one way to find out", Sam replied.

Dean thought it was funny that every time he went and talked to Cas lately, it was after he decided to go for a walk. Or when he just went for a walk. Oh well, that was life.

" Cas! If you're out there and you can hear me, get your feathery ass down here!", Dean yelled.

No answer. No flutter of wings. No Cas. Dean felt disappointed but he wasn't about to give up when the one thing that he could have for certain was out there somewhere, mad at him.

" Cas! Come on! I need to talk to you!", he tried again. Still nothing.

**And hour and a half later…**

" Come on, you feathery bastard!! Where are you when I need you?", Dean yelled once again, hoarsely. He had been yelling for the past hour and a half and he was getting nowhere fast. The angel just wasn't coming, at all.

" Dammit", he whispered, hanging his head. He sat down on the pavement. As if it wasn't bad enough that he was fucked up himself, but he just had to keep pushing until the angel was gone. He was alone, once again. That thought had never really bothered him before, but for some reason, it made him want to cry.

" Come on, Cas", he tried yelling. There was still no answer and it made Dean feel worse. The one thing he loved absolutely was ignoring him, and that hurt worse than Sam sneaking out every night.

"I need you", he whispered.

Dean stood up again and looked towards the heavens. He was feeling angry now.

" What do you want from me? Huh? I'm right here, come and get me! What do you want from me? I love you, alright! I'm so damn in love with you that it hurts! I don't do this, I'm not made for this! You can't just leave me here now! I need you more than anything in this world and you're gonna abandon me? I can't do this, I **won't** do this! I can't do it…", Dean screamed up at the sky with his arms spread open, on his knees, as if waiting to be taken by some unseen force. His voice had grown quieter towards the end of his tirade until he whispered, " Not alone. I can't do it alone."

" No one said you had to", a voice said from behind him.

Dean stilled. Could it be? Maybe he was imagining the low, gravelly voice. He wondered if it was real.

" It's real, Dean. I'm real", Cas said.

Dean turned around to find the angel not looking at him, but just generally all over the place. " It's about damn time", Dean replied, hoarsely. " Where have you been?"

" Around", Cas answered.

" That's not an answer", Dean replied.

" Yeah, well we all make sacrifices", Cas replied, his blue gaze finally settling on Dean.

" You left me with a prophecy, without even explaining what it meant. Why?", Dean replied.

" You had to find out for yourself what it meant", Cas stated.

" Ahh. That's great, why didn't you just tell me?", Dean asked.

" Would you have believed me?", Cas replied, tilting his head.

Dean hesitated. Would he have believed Cas? Maybe. He truly didn't know.

" I don't know. You could've told me and then I could've thought about it. Instead of waiting three weeks to come around", Dean stated, dryly.

" Dean, you don't understand. You had to find out for yourself what that prophecy meant. I knew you could put it together, and if you couldn't, Sam would. Either way, you figuring it out for yourself means that you believed yourself. You would've scoffed at anyone who tried to tell you what it meant", Cas replied.

" You know me too well", Dean mumbled.

" Part of the job", Cas replied, smiling slightly.

" So you wanted me to figure it all out", Dean stated more than asked.

" Yes. And did you?", Cas replied.

Dean smiled one of his mischievous grins and walked up to the angel. He put one hand behind the angel's head and pulled him closer to himself. Cas didn't resist being pulled towards Dean, he just went with it. Dean settled his lips on Cas's. He tilted the angel's head just a little bit so he could deepen the kiss. He parted his lips slightly and traced Cas's lips. The angel parted his lips and let Dean inside. Cas's tongue met Dean's in an erotic tango as the two got closer together. Cas rested one hand on Dean's hip and the other went around Dean's neck to tangle in the hunter's short brown hair.

Dean pulled away, both of the men panting. He smiled and gave the angel another peck on the lips before travelling downwards over Cas's cheek to his stubble-lined jaw, downwards, following the line of his neck. He kissed the rapidly pulsing beat at the base of the angel's throat, to be rewarded with a soft groan and a gasp from the angel as Cas tilted his head backwards so that the hunter could gain better access to his neck. Dean sucked softly at the spot that connected throat to shoulder and again was rewarded with a gasp and a tightening of the hand that was in his hair.

Dean pulled away, much to Cas's disappointment as the angel tried to regain his footing and his breath. Dean grinned at the even more dishevelled state of his angel. The angel's eyes were dilated so that you couldn't tell the iris from the pupil, his dark hair was sticking up at odd ends all over the place, his trench coat was hanging slightly off one shoulder, and his lips were red, swollen, and parted as the angel panted.

" Was that answer enough for you?", Dean asked, trying himself to regain his breath.

" Maybe you should try words next time", Cas panted.

" Maybe I like getting you all hot and bothered", Dean grinned.

Cas tilted his head slightly and Dean grinned even wider. It was the classic lost puppy look, but in the state that Cas was in right now, the innocent lost puppy thing just made Dean want the angel even more.

" If only you knew what you did to me, Cas", Dean said.

Cas let his eyes wander down Dean's body trying to figure it out. Dean had had trouble breathing, but then so did he, but he guessed it was one thing. The thing that drew Cas's eye was the bulge that was even now straining the front of Dean's jeans. His eyes widened slightly at the sight and the bulge strained a little farther, if that was even possible and he heard Dean groan softly.

" I believe I do know what I do to you. It's the same thing you do to me", Cas replied, his voice soft but nonetheless serious.

Dean's eyes widened at that. He let his gaze travel down Cas's body as well, noting the now steadier breathing, but also noting a fairly noticeable bulge in the front of Cas's pants. Dean wanted to explore all of it, but first he had a few questions for the angel.

" So, this prophecy. It's coming true", Dean stated.

" Yes."

" And it's about a pure love. True love." Another statement.

" Yes."

" And it can't be broken by Heaven."

" No, it can't but you already know that."

" I do. Between a righteous man and an angel."

" Yes."

" The angel being you, and the righteous person…"

" You, Dean. But you already know that as well."

" How did you know?", the question was softly spoken, tinged with fear and hope.

" Anna. She knew. Being older than me, and being my superior, she was made aware of this prophecy a long time ago. Of what it was, who it was about."

" So she knew, and she never told you."

" I guess she wasn't supposed to until the right time. It's destiny, Dean. Fate. That was why I was chosen out of all the angels to lay siege to hell and rescue you. It was time that prophecy surfaced, they believed you were ready for it. They were right. They were just fitting the pieces into place", Cas replied.

" I'm glad they did. To be honest, I don't know how I would've went on without you", Dean said softly.

" I love you, Dean. With all of me, every fibre of my being, I love you", Cas stated, firmly.

" And I love you, Cas. With all of me. I don't know how I got so lucky", Dean replied.

" Blame it on fate", Cas replied, as he leaned in to steal one of many kisses from his hunter.

The End


	15. NO UPDATE BUT PLEASE READ!

Greetings to the fine folk that moderate our site.

Myself, along with many, have been writing and posting on your fine site for years now, some of the better examples of up and coming writers out there are now suddenly finding some of the stories we've come to love at risk of being removed without the chance to even rectify our errors.

For some, that means the permanent loss of a story. While I don't have anything that I believe violates your terms of use, there are those out there that are never able to recover a story in its original form, this is something I find to be almost worthy of a legal action, as while we cannot claim ownership of a character, the stories are OURS and simply destroying them is something that is inexcusable.

It's quite easy to simply add an MA rating, additional filters or even a simple requirement for a free membership to read the stories presented here, and would cut down on hateful anonymous reviews and posts at the same time, so I have to question as to why such a thing, in all this time, simply wasn't added.

If you're worried about falsification of a registration then have an appropriate disclaimer and then there can be no dispute, you took your steps and the PARENTS didn't monitor their children, if that is even your concern. If it is more of a personal view or desire then please at least let people know and give them a chance to remove a story that you and yours find offensive, most people on the site are actually rather cordial when it comes to such requests.

While I cannot say for sure if this letter will even reach those that may be willing to listen, of if it's more akin to a wide spectrum purge in preparation for something bigger, please understand that you are going to be looseing a LARGE number of your writers, and thus your income from a lack of readers if there is not some level of action taken to help with this situation.

For those that may agree with this, please feel free to sign on and send this to the support server, maybe we can get some movement on this.

Psudocode_Samurai

Rocketman1728

dracohalo117

VFSNAKE

Agato the Venom Host

Jay Frost

SamCrow

Blood Brandy

Dusk666

Hisea Ori

The Dark Graven

BlackRevenant

Lord Orion Salazar Black

Sakusha Saelbu

Horocrux

socras01

Kumo no Makoto

Biskoff

Korraganitar the NightShadow

NightInk

Lazruth

ragnrock kyuubi

SpiritWriterXXX

Ace6151

FleeingReality

Harufu

Exiled crow

Slifer1988

Dee Laynter

Angeldoctor

Final Black Getsuga

ZamielRaizunto

Fenris187

blood enraged

arashiXnoXkami

Masane Amaha's King

Blueexorist

Nero Angelo Sparda

Sharkteeth

DAPC

Kyuubi16

bunji the wolf

EternalKnight219

Shi Kami The Murderous Prodigy

DeathNoteMaker

Nostalgic Remedy

Paco the Taco Maker

Slayer of Destiny

MisaPummelman

Brunette Chic

If you could do what some other authors have done and post this petition as a temporary new chapter on some of your stories to help spreed the word? It would help a lot it's how I found out about this.


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